The Lurkers' Domain

I have also posted this in VR, but, I would like some feedback, if I may ask, as someone has told me that I have put a little too much descriptiveness into it and I lose the reader under all the confusion.
Your thoughts kindly appreciated.

'The burning fire of regret'

Gone are the bright days,
Days where the sun fell upon my face,
Shone as though a beacon were calling out,
Hurried away with the coming of the long night,
This time of a silent passing,
Where the moon reflects not only the glory of my heart,
Knowing only grief,
The stars are my only hope for redemption.

Whereupon I sat,
Staring intensely at the fading memory of life,
I see naught but the dull shine of the fiery streetlight,
Catching my eye in a trance of burnished falsity,
A deep remorse entreats my soul,
What can be takes less than what has begone,
Sharp flares puncture a vision without sight,
The darkness can bring only hope for desecration.

The temple that could not bear my worship,
The prison which failed to contain my anger,
All that I am,
Could ever become,
Drifts past on ghostly fumes,
Roaring machines drive me away,
The wasp striped path of oblivion calls for my passage,
I wander without and take hope from desolation.

The sharp end of the broken window,
Brings welts of blood across my back,
A dagger of ice prepared to strike,
An adder coiled and poised,
The screams of terror pull me inward,
A sweet scent of teenage sweat,
The vain bargain of heroic intent,
Hope crawling forth with a desperate keening.

Tears, they fall with blossoming impacts,
Send forth a cry of wailing children,
Bring to me a shudder of helpless fear,
Set behind me a falling empire,
Give nothing for endless despair,
Take for me this rope of hair,
Choking from me the life I hoped not to wear.

The dark flood encompasses all that I was,
A mountain of sin,
This cross I must bear breaks more than my back,
Crushing the spirit,
I have nothing to regard as my holy advent,
Only past movements to which I compare,
More from destruction than could be without,
A single hopeless voice lost inside,
Somewhere.

BJG June 05